It differs from one individual to the other, and it may or may not move at the same pace – it means one thing to you, and an abundant to me, be it personal, emotional, mental, or all at once; Growth.

It’s not something I’d talk about occasionally, nor would I voice it out point blank, but growth is a matter that not many acknowledge, not particularly within others, but within themselves. It was after the last Rupaul Drag Race episode where I realized that out of the many things that we discuss, debate over, and inquire about, growth wouldn’t be a crowd favorite.

From “Remember who you are” and similar phrases, to the emotional scene where Rupaul asked every queen about what they would’ve told themselves as young toddlers. It was truly heart felt, and it surely spoke volumes to so many young adolescent individuals, and even adults possibly.


After recollecting myself, and deciding to apply what had happened in the episode, here’s what I would tell my 3-year-old self:

Dear Ali,

I don’t know how to start this, and I don’t particularly know how to explain what the future has for you, because trust me, there’s a lot headed your way – although that, here are a few pointers.

Always remember that you’re not alone. You will come across people who will be there for you. You’re going to lean on them for a minute or two, and then you’ll stand your ground. Always remember that it’s okay to fall down, and to get right back up. Allow them to do the same, allow them to fall, allow them to cry on your shoulders, and allow them to leave your hands after you’ve helped them get back up – they’ll be back, but not in the way you’d want them to.

Know that there’s a fine line between friends, and acquaintances, beneficial, and intimate relationships, self-love, and vanity. Always know that no matter what you go through, you’ll come out of it with a lot of knowledge, perspectives, and a newfound self-respect. Respect, always remember to respect your self before others, it’s not wrong, and you’re not selfish, you’re just concerned about yourself, and that should always be your main priority.

 Priorities, you’ll have many, but learn to list your family as one of them – sure, I can’t redo the whole growing up process, but trust me when I say that family comes far ahead of anything, and anyone else. They’ll be your backbone, your source of comfort, and to an extent, your source of happiness. You’ll favor your mom, but always know that your dad loves you, and that he’s proud of you. He’ll have one hell of a way of showing it, but always know that deep down, he truly does. Ironically, you’ll argue, and disagree about a lot of things, but know that you’re so much alike – not particularly in the way you think though.

I know I’ve emphasized on family, but it truly is important. It’s also important for you to know that you can outgrow the one you’re in, and create a new one; one that doesn’t hold who you are, or your way of thinking against you. You see, blood isn’t really thicker than water, at least not always.

 You’ll need to work harder, read more, and educate yourself as much as you can. Never limit yourself because of any shortcomings, or false pretenses. Don’t allow banter, and the occasional “He said, she said” hinder you.

 Understand that self-harm isn’t a form of comfort, and love will never be a kind of emptiness. You’ll bloom, you’ll love yourself, more and more each day. You will never be like anyone else, because you’re far more special. You’re important, you’re worthy, and you will overcome everything, and anything that will head your way. If something makes you uncomfortable, speak out loud about it, never stay silent, but also know that not every fight is worth fighting.

 Hold your head up high, and make the most out of every moment in life. Celebrate your success, and learn from your downfalls – never forget to take it easy on yourself, and never take anything for granted.

Stay safe, and I love you.





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